Looking to the future of our great game!

Golf equipment manufacturers go berserk with hi-tech terminology in an attempt to diffuse the public conception that advances in equipment technology have hit a wall. (In other words, if it sounds scientific it must be true.) Check out these new catch phrases: "angled groove design", "patented variable face thickened", "vibration dampening graphite tips", "hyper titanium", "anti-fusion balanced" and "sonically calibrated". Sure makes ME want to buy!

Geo-positioning devices (GPS) become standard equipment in golf carts allowing players to do everything from computing accurate distances and recording scores for up to 8 players, to ordering a hot dog at the turn. Later that year, the same company introduces a pocket model and as an incentive for ladies to give their golfer the perfect gift, the manufacturer includes a free homing device that looks just like a golf tee that wives use to track their husbands.

Sees the invention of the ceramic iron and the "air" tee, a device that floats a ball exactly 2 & 1/2" above the ground, saving countless trees. Environmentalists hail this invention until finding out that the tee industry is a major funder of environmental causes and will likely go broke within the year.

Phoenix, Arizona is the first city in the country to build a championship golf course using all artificial turf. They ran out of water in 2010.

Cleveland Golf introduces the first "shank proof" pitching wedge that features an "invisible" hosel. The theory being that if you can't see it you can't hit it.

Titleist debuts the PowerBall LVM which has exactly 1000 dimples, breaking the old record by a wholloping 150 dimps. Coincidentally, a ten thousand yard course is completed in Death Valley. That same year the first regulation golf course under a dome is completed. Built in Southern California because of its mild climate, the dome is rumored to be in financial difficulty due to the estimated $150,000 per month in air conditioning and lighting bills.

Tiger Woods wins the Masters at age 43 using the new Nike Magnesium Di irons with diamond inserts. His wife (3rd) files for divorce on the grounds that his clubs have more carats than her jewelry.

The Swing Jacket, a revised model of an early swing trainer is approved for use at the Alabama State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Later, its use is struck down by the Alabama Supreme Court for cruel and unusual punishment.

George Nader (Ralph's grandson) makes an announcement that golf bracelets have absolutely no effect on the human body, copper, balanced, magnetic or otherwise. We ALL knew that!

Ping introduces the Pendulum Putter, a putter invented specifically for those with the yips but has some trouble getting past the USGA because you use it in the sitting position. Explain THOSE grass stains to the wife!

The finishing touches are put on the first golf course on the moon, a 50,000 yard par 71 designed by Pete Dye's grandson. A private club, The Sea of Tranquility CC, features railroad ties, moon dust bunkers and space junk in the transition areas. The PGA Tour announces it has selected the site for the 2075 US Open when it figures they will have solved the transportation problems.

Footjoy finally perfects their Magnajoy golf shoe. Steel underlays on tee boxes interact with the powerful magnets built into the soles allowing golfers to swing "out of their shoes" on the tee shot without the risk of falling down. Now all they have to do is dig up every tee box in America.

Ushers in a new design concept which is supposed to revolutionize the game: a personal computer that is worn by the golfer that interacts with the club to keep it perfectly on plane. The concept is later abandoned when the device is infected by a virus, malfunctions, inflicts a spinal injury on the wearer and billions are contested in injury litigation.

After years of trying to limit distance without sacrificing the excitement generated by launching a ball into orbit, golf ball designers finally figure out that size does matter. The ball is increased in size from 1.7 inches in diameter to slightly less than the size of a handball. Courses increase their cup size from 4 ¼ inches to 8 ½ inches but the professional ranks are slow to adopt the new ball and are played mostly by weekend golfers. (Cobra introduces the new Shovelblade irons available at all ACE Hardware locations for use with this ball, but sales are rumored to be sluggish.)

Utility clubs reach a new low with the invention of the Roughblaster, a club designed to get out of tall rough with the head of a three wood that blows out a stream of air from the head that parts the grass and keeps it from getting between the club head and the ball. This, as everyone knows, prevents the ball from having too much overspin. The shaft is actually a compressed air tank which can hold a complete charge for 18 holes. Great idea but it makes a hissing noise like a snake and scares the %$&^ out of me!

The first interactive driver and tee combinations are introduced. A magnetic field is broadcast by a tiny transmitter inside a titanium tee that is received by a mini-reactor in the head of the driver made from re-claimed uranium. A chain reaction inside the club forces the club to the correct swing plane and also generates incredible club-head speeds. Purchasers are given a free pair of Magnajoy Golf Shoes to keep themselves anchored during their Gary Player-like follow through.

The PGA Tour announces that it will no longer allow players to use what has come to be known as the "Living Glovola". This was a golf glove invented by a gay electrical engineer that was wired to send radio signals to the brain to relax the nerves, lighten up and "love" your opponent. The leather and wire composition used in the process generated a low frequency signal which somehow got picked up by NASA's Ozone Generator project and began to interfere with satellite transmissions of tour telecasts, causing the audio of old episodes of the Three Stooges to be heard while the golf telecast remained normal, creating havoc with the sponsors.